九月九日忆山东兄弟古诗英文翻译
《九月九日忆山东兄弟》是王维的诗作。王维这首《九月九日忆山东兄弟》诗载于《全唐诗》卷一百二十八。
九月九日忆山东兄弟
[唐]王维
独在异乡为异客,
每逢佳节倍思亲。
遥知兄弟登高 处,
遍插茱萸少一人。
浅析六版本《九月九日忆山东兄弟》英译
译文一(王宝童,上海世图2005版《王维百首(汉英对照图文本)》):
On Double Ninth Day Thinking of My Brothers at Home
A lonely stranger in a strange land I’m cast,
Sore sick for my dears on every festive day.
By now my brothers must some heights have passed,
But a cornel wearer missing’ll damp the day.
第二行的sore sick是英文中不存在的表达,就像汉语没有“酸病”一样。根据Cambridge Advanced Learners’ Dictionary& Thesaurus, dear的名词含义有两个: [C usually singular] informal a kind person和[as form of address] used to address someone you love or are being friendly to, not used between men。如此看来,译文这样用dears是不对的。第三行的pass意为“经过”,不一定是“登高”。最后一句的missing指人时是“失踪”的意思,用在这里显然不合适。damp the play既非英文固定表达,又不易从字面推断想要表达的意思(把戏剧弄湿了?)。和前面的sore sick一样,这也属于译者捏造英文表达,对于英语母语者来说这样的“创造”只会让他们读的一头雾水。英文极严谨,不能有任何偷懒和侥幸心理,尤其是尝试少见搭配和比喻时,查证二字应时刻谨记。
译文二(唐一鹤,天津人民出版社2005版《英译唐300首》):
Reminiscent of My Brothers in Puzhou to the east of Huashan on the Double Ninth Festival
Being a stranger alone in a strange land,
I miss my dear ones on everyhappy festival with a heavy mind.
I know from afar the heights where my brothers have ascended,
With dogwoods on their heads but without me accompanied.
题目中的reminiscent of意为某件东西或某人让人想起了与之有关联或相似性的另一件东西或另一个人,比如:This fragrance is reminiscent of fresh flowers. (McGraw-Hill Dictionary of American Idioms and Phrasal Verbs)。译文最大的.问题是后两句,译回中文就成了:我在遥远的地方知道我的兄弟们戴着茱萸,在没我陪伴的情况下登上的高地。作者知道的不是兄弟登高的行为,而成了他们登高的地点。最后的without me accompanied也是错误的,应为without me accompanying them,因为“伴随”是我主动做出的动作。
译文三(陈君朴,上海大学出版社2005版《汉英对照唐绝句150首》):
Thinking of My Brothers in Shandong on the Double Ninth Festival
A stranger in a strange land on each holiday,
I think of my kinsmen with a double care.
I know when my brothers wear medicine bags,
At the heights, they would find one tospare.
根据Cambridge Advanced Learner’s Dictionary& Thesaurus,holiday意为:a time when someone does not go to work or school but is free to do what they want, such as travel or relax或an official day when you do not have to go to work or school,可见,第一句中的holiday严格来说对应的是假日,非节日。再看同一来源中festival的释义:a special day or period, usually in memory of a religious event, with its own social activities, food or ceremonies。两者比较,可见文中的佳节应译为festival。第二句中的with a double care应为with double care。第三、四句中,译者显然是想说在兄弟们背上medicine bags的时候发现多了一个,这时“背”这个动作应为shoulder,而非表结果的wear。最后一句的find one to spare意为medicine bag多了一个,暗含的意思是带了足够多的medicine bags,甚至有了富余,这和原文的“少一人”不同。多出的bag也可能是本来就带多了。原文表述直接,译文为押韵将其转为间接表达,但其中可能造成的误解又没有得到处理。最后,茱萸确有药效,但诗人的兄弟们带着茱萸不是去看病,这里强调其药效有些奇怪。这里的medicine和上一行的care同时出现也会给读者正确理解care造成一些干扰。
译文四(Witter Bynner):
On the Mountain Holiday Thinking of my Brothers in Shandong
All alone in a foreign land,
I am twice as homesick on this day.
When brothers carry dogwood up the mountain,
Each of them a branch -- and my branch missing.
译文标题同样使用了并不准确的holiday。在正文中,译者没有译出“佳节”和诗人与兄弟天各一方这层意思。第二行的homesick是想家,更多指对妻子、父母或子女的想念,用在思念兄弟的场合稍显不当。最后一句字面意思是我的dogwood不见了,和原文有出入。读者估计也会困惑于什么是my branch。此外,译文中的brothers前面少了my。
译文五(许渊冲):
Thinking of my Brothers on Mountain Climbing Day
Alone, a lonely stranger in a foreign land,
I doubly pine for kinsfolk on a holiday.
I know my brothers would, with dogwoodspray in hand,
Climb up mountain and miss me so far away.
这一版本的译文是本文列出的译文中质量最高的。第一句的alone和lonely对应原文的两个“异”字,第二行的doubly也准确地翻译出了“倍”。译文存在的问题主要是为了和第一行的land押韵,把“插”译成了“拿”,另外最后一句和原文相比过于直白了。这些都不是什么大问题。其他一些小问题包括kinfolk前应有my,holiday用法不准确,spray应为sprays,以及mountain应为mountains。
译文六(丰华瞻):
Thinking of my Brothers on the Double Ninth Festival in the East of Mount Hua
All alone in a strange land,
How I long for my folks on this festiveday!
I imagine my brothers climb up a hill,dogwood on heads,
And all except me merrily go their way.
译文的问题集中在第三、四句。首先,imagine的宾语所做的动作应为动词ing形式,即应为I imagine my brothers climbing up a hill。其次,最后一句展现了一幅喜悦的场景,与原诗伤感的氛围背道而驰。原文并不晦涩,译者能译出这样不着边际的文字让人费解。
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