It happened to be a beautiful summer afternoon, and Mr. Phillip was taking a walk in the downtown area of Paris, capital of France.
When he turned to a street corner, he heard the voice of a lovely French singer coming from a nearby restaurant. The sweet music attracted him, so he went into the restaurant to hear it better.
Mr. Phillip sat down quietly at a table near the door. Noticing the waiter come over, he ordered a glass of French wine’
The waiter returned with the glass of wine and put it on the table. Mr. Phillip started drinking the wine slowly and watched the other people in the restaurant.
There were three customers sitting at a table near him. He could tell by their accents that one of them was an American, one an Englishman and the third man was a funny-looking stranger. The polite waiter served each of the three men a glass of beer. By chance, each glass had a fly in it.
Out of curiosity(好奇心), Mr. Phillip watched carefully what they were going to do. To his amusement, he found that each of them took quite a different attitude. The American picked up his glass, took a hard look at the fly, and then poured the fly and half of his beer on the floor. The Englishman looked into the glass, noticed the fly and reached for a spoon, with which he took the fly out of the beer and drank the rest of it. And the stranger noticed the fly in the beer, picked it with his fingers, squeezed(捏紧)it carefully in order to save every drop of the beer, and then drank it up. 这篇228字的短文讲述了一个带有滑稽色彩的小故事,在轻松的一笑之后,我们还应该看到它具有典型的“事件描写”特征:
Who--Mr. Phillip and the other three;
When---a beautiful summer afternoon; Where---a restaurant in Paris;
What---something funny;
How---Mr. Phillip watched the three drinking beer.
其次,我们应该注意短文中用了基本上不重复的34个动词和8个非谓语动词,使得整个事件动静结合,可读性强。
同时,作者在描述三人对同一事件的处理上也各有不同,颇有民族特色。
另外,短文的结尾干净利落,出乎意料,令人忍俊不禁的同时又很想知道:第三人是哪国人?
推荐背诵文段
常用表达法
1. 写作技巧
1)叙述完整5个W(5 Ws):
Who, What, When, Where, How,(Why)
2)描写生动3要点(Vivid description):
Using different verbs;
Using verbs;
Using proper prepositions.
3)写好开头与结尾(A good beginning and a good ending)
A good beginning---引人入胜
A good ending ---回味良久4)时态语态要贴切(Good tenses and proper voices)
2. 表达技巧
1)用好过渡词,使文章前后连贯
(1) 表示时间过程的:
now, then, afterwards, five minutes later, soon, before long, after supper, to this day, just now, just then
(2)表示前因后果的:
because, because of, since, thanks to, so, as a result, thus ,therefore, luckily, unfortunately
(3)表示同等并列的:
and, also, as well as, and then
(4)表示解释说明的:
that is to say, for example, and so on, such as, according to, for this reason
2)把握两个原则,用好不同时态
(1)“一致”的原则:在同一时段中的动作、状态等应该用同一种时态,形成一种并列结构。
误:He had gone to the market, buys some flowers and then returned home.
正:He went to the market, bought some flowers and then returned home.
误:He will go abroad after he finishes his high school education and studies there until he gets his doctor’s degree.
正:He will go abroad after he finishes his high school education and (will) study there until he gets his doctor’s degree.
(2)“呼应”的原则:在同一句话中或在同一段文段中,一般不能产生时态的“跳跃”,应形成一种呼应状态。
误:He said he has been there for three days and he will leave the next day.
正:He said he had been there for three days and he would leave the next day.
规则一:和一般过去时“呼应”的时态应该是过去完成时、过去将来时或过去进行时。
误:He has lived in this old house since he had been a child and he would move into a new house soon. He works in an office not far from his new house.
正:He has lived (has been living)in this old house since he was a child and he will move into a new house soon. He works in an office not far from his new house.
规则二:和现在完成(进行)时“呼应”的时态不应该是过去完成时或过去将来时,反之亦然。
写作练习
(NMET98)五月三日,你参观了一个农场,请根据下列图画用英语写一篇日记。
注意:1.日记须包括所有图画的内容,可以适当增减细节,使日记连贯;
2.词数100左右。
习作点评
May 3rd suny
It’s a lovely day today! The students of our school visited the Red Star farm.
In the morning, we get together at the gate of the No.1 Middle School, then full of happy, we were singing and laughing on our way to the farm.
We walked and arrived at the farm nearly at noon, there we received a warm welcome. After that, the farmers guided us to see many kinds of vegetables, telling us a lot of knowledge about those plants, asking us to taste some fresh fruites.In the middle of the day, we had a picnic on the farm, talking with each other. Then we held a small party, singing and dancing with the beautiful music.
Time also flies quickly, we had to say goodbye to the farmers. Twilight was falling as we returned to our school.
Night is coming, I am still excited about the visit today, washing to have a second chance to visit the farm again.
日记格式;suny应为Sunny
farm也应大写为Farm
记述过去,应为got
on our way 改为all the way更好
telling 与asking用得好
with 应为to
also多余
结尾较好。但有两处不妥:1.washing似为wishing之误 ;2.a second chance与 again意义重复。
参考范文
May 3 Sunday Fine
Today we visited a farm. Early in the morning we met at the school gate and went there together. The farm workers gave us a warm welcome. Then the head of the farm showed us around. How glad we were to see the crops and vegetables growing well! At noon we had a picnic lunch in the sun-shine. After a short rest, we had great fun singing and dancing, telling jokes or stories. Two of us even played a game of chess. The time passed quickly. Before we knew it, we had to say goodbye to the workers.